Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Batman, Shatman

© 2008 Stan Spire

The new Batman movie is greater than the return of Jesus! Everyone says so, ergo it must be true. Especially the TeeVee nooz and all those late night talk shows.

Heath Ledger. Why he deserves an Oscar award for his portrayal of the Joker. And don’t say anything bad about him. He died from an accidental overdose. Tragic. Ergo, his performance is critic-proof. Greater than Jesus dying on the cross.

So since everyone in the lamestream media says the new Batman movie – The Dork Knight Returns or whatever it’s called - is so fucking great, I won’t have to see it. It would be so great that I couldn’t handle it.

Too bad Jack Nicholson didn’t die when he portrayed the Joker in the previous series of Batman movies. He sucked as the Joker. Overrated ham. But I can say that because he didn’t die: he’s alive and not critic-proof.

Then there’s Marlon Brando who sucked even more in another superhero series, Superman, with Christopher Reeves in the title role. The magnificent Marlon portrayed Superman’s Kryptonian father, Jor-El, as a pretentious albino. Oops, Brando is dead. I’ll have to retract that criticism.

After I die no one can say anything bad about me. It’s not nice to speak ill of corpses.

The Next-To-Nothing Advantage

©2008 Stan Spire

Being down and almost out does have a couple of advantages.

Despite the economy going down the toilet thanks to our boob president, I don’t have to worry about losing my car or home.

But the main advantage is that I have time to read, research, and know a bit more about all the bullshit going on with the Elite who control this country.

The Elite wants the average Joe or Jane working long hours, fretting about paying bills, so that they’re too distracted to be aware of what is really going on. That’s how the Elite sold America on the War in Iraq. Most people were too busy to look behind the claims: weapons of mass destruction, Saddam was behind 9/11, all the lies. Joe and Jane were trying to get through another day. Sound bites are easy to digest. In-depth analysis takes time to chew on.

And when Joe and Jane America did have some free time, it was spent relaxing, catching a break from the daily grind. They didn’t have the energy to question the Big Lies from the White House. After all, George W must know what he’s doing: he was elected president.

The Elite don’t want anyone to have too much free time. After all, citizens might notice the smell of the stuff being shoveled down on them.

But the Elite are really screwing things up. With the economy sliding into a depression, people will be laid off, stuck at home, nowhere to go. And like me, they will have plenty of opportunity to think and challenge the BS.

The “Spendiferous” Adirondacks

© 2008 Stan Spire

Sometimes I get the rabbit ears angled just right so I receive decent signals from the few broadcast TeeVee stations in this neck of the woods. Unlike cable TeeVee with over 100 channels, my choices are limited to around five stations. And like cable Teevee, usually there’s crap on.

A while ago the local Public BS station was running a special documentary about the Adirondacks. Yup, top notch cinematography, splendiferous scenery. The vast expanses, the majestic mountains, the sparkling lakes and streams – they call this God’s Country. So much nature, unspoiled, to be enjoyed.

But you ain’t driving into the heart of the Adirondacks for a hike when you don’t have a car to get there. And thanks to the Commander in Chimp in the White House, even if you have a car, it takes a hefty bank loan to fill it up.

The lakes and streams are nice if you can have a sailboat or a canoe. I live near Lake Champlain and all I can do is walk along the lake, watching the rich bastards sail by in their expensive toys while I suck wind.

It’s irritating to hear someone tell me, “Don’t you enjoy the all that free natural beauty?” Sure, if I have the bucks to afford it.