Officially Spring

© 2008 Stan Spire


Spring is “officially” here, so declared the local TeeVee weatherman. Arrived on March 20th, 2008 – the spring equinox.

Maybe it’s spring in your neck of the woods but here in NENYland winter ain’t over until late April. And even then it might snow in May. One year it snowed on the last weekend in May – Memorial Day weekend, the “official” start of summer vacation season.

It doesn’t matter which local TeeVee news you watch; they all whine about the weather. Where have these idiots been? Winters usually drag on around here; this ain’t down south where the flowers are blooming.

Since when does the vernal equinox mean that spring is supposed to suddenly break out all over? There’s this thing called CLIMATE. And the climate around here means it’s more like the arctic tundra than Florida.

Of course, all the winter yahoos are happy with snow on the ground. They’re stupidly happy with their toys, snowmobiles and skis – until they bash their brains into trees.

So there is an advantage to six months of winter: such a long season weeds out the weak minded from the herd.