Black Belt Patriotism = Traumatic Head Injury Syndrome

© 2009 Stan Spire


Besides commie hippie college professors, another one of my irks is one-note actors trying to convert America into an Xtian theocracy, the yin to the yang of radical Islamism.

Maybe I’m overstating Chuck Norris’s POV but after reading his book, “Black Belt Patriotism,” the impression is that the USA was founded as an Xtian nation (Wrong!) and to save ourselves there should be no separation between Jesus and State.

Chuck has simple explanations for simple minds about complex problems. Take school shootings like Columbine. The reason why kids are killing other kids and teachers? “The bottom line,” declares Chuck-o on pages 113 - 114, “is that if we teach our children they are nothing more than glorified apes, then we shouldn’t be surprised if they behave like animals.”

Time to bring the Bible back into the classroom. That will stop sociopathic kids with weapons and bombs from trashing the place.

“Black Belt Patriotism” provides a few yuks to a cynical atheist such as yours truly, especially when Chuck looks only on the up side of someone, glossing over that person’s down side.

On pages 81 – 82 Up Chuck talks about visiting Republican political strategist Lee Atwater before he died, kissing him on the forehead. Atwater was a dirty trickster that supposedly converted to Xtainity after he was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor.

No, I don’t find the way he died funny. But what is amusing is a detail revealed during a Public BS TeeVee program about Atwater’s life. Someone questioned whether Atwater was a true convert. An Xtain gave Atwater a Bible to read. That Bible was still sealed in the plastic wrapper after Atwater went to his just reward.

But Up Chuck can’t be bothered with details. On page 115 he repeats the story that one of the kids at the Columbine High School shooting professed her belief in God before one of the psychos pulled the trigger on her. Her death was tragic, but, sorry, that didn’t happen. From what one researcher has found, the victim was hiding under a table and didn’t have a chance to say anything before she was killed. There was another girl who did say she believed in God but she lived; apparently the psycho confronting her got bored or distracted and let her live.

And to gloss over problems with the contention that the USA was founded as a Xtian nation, Chucky refers to Benjamin Franklin as “a presumed deist” (on page 75 for you chapter-and-verse types). Deists ain’t Xtains, even if Chucky Cheese calls them “The Founding Creationists” on page 95.

Chuck-o used to star in movies and on TeeVee, showing off his main talent, martial arts. After reading his book, I think too many of his karate chops to someone else’s head backfired.